I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my sisters under your porch take her home
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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