I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
