Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
