I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
