Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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