Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
