"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
