Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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