so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
