I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
