Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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