i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
