Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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