What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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