If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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