He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
