I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My penis needs a shock collar
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
