Whod you bang
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
