i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
