I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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