Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
