Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
