how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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