Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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