Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
