ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
