She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
