some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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