go do what you do best...puke behind churches
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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