Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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