White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
