Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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