dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
