just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
