There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
