you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
