Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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