She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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