HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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