Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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