Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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