i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
