Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
