Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
