i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
