Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
