He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
