In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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