My room smells like vodka and shame
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
