can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
